Siew Govinda Mugalsingh, Trinidad
I asked Sri Swamiji what my karma was and many years later I can say that everything that Sri Swamiji said then came to pass; that I would go from guru to guru, that I would meet many gurus.
I first saw Sri Swamiji in 1977 at the residence of Mala Balroop in Santa Cruz. I tried to prostrate and meet him but was unable to. I left dejectedly and went to where I was staying; a small area measuring about four feet by six feet, that was attached to a tire repair shop, owned by some relatives. Later that night, as I was preparing to go to bed Sri Swamiji appeared standing right next to me; this place was very dirty and as I was a heavy smoker, as usual I was smoking. I was very surprised that he had come to such a dirty place. No words were spoken, but just a sense of high energy pervading the surrounding.
Within a span of five days after this meeting, I was given a job at the Catholics Seminary in Mt St. Benedict and a decent place to stay. I credit this only to the grace of Sri Swamiji. I started fasting and praying a lot; I would sit in a lotus position and chant the name of Lord Shiva one thousand and eight times, five times a day. During this period Sri Swamiji appeared to me and asked what I wanted. I couldn’t answer then, but that encounter led me to believe that Sri Swamiji is Lord Shiva Himself.
Even though I was praying to Lord Shiva, I never had any experiences with Him but had a special love for Him. I knew spiritually that I was related to Him. When I saw Swamiji, the relationship started to change as I thought He was someone who would change my life forever, and Swamiji has changed my life.
From 1977-1990 I was involved with the Satya Sai Baba organization going to satsanghas and maintaining a very close relationship to Baba. I did not think that my relationship would change with Baba as I thought Baba was the person to whom the whole world would have to go to. During my first interview with Sri Swamiji I told Him that I was a devotee of Satya Sai Baba, but I came to have His blessings. Even though I had the darsan of Sri Swamiji while praying to Lord Shiva I still said that I was a devotee of Baba. I asked Sri Swamiji what my karma was and many years later I can say that everything that Sri Swamiji said then came to pass; that I would go from guru to guru, that I would meet many gurus and I have met over twenty people who were very influential to me and still is, but I know that Sri Swamiji is my guru.
Through the years Sri Swamiji has been able to sort me out and bring me closer to Him. I would have His dream darsan quite frequently. In 1990 I stopped smoking, drinking, gambling and eating meat. There are so many experiences. Every time Sri Swamiji comes to Trinidad something new happens. The relationship gets better and better, I can feel Sri Swamiji inside of me. I know that He is in my heart. I do not see Sri Swamiji lesser than God.
A couple of weeks ago I had dream darsan of Sri Swamiji where He told that I should do meditation and He gave me His meditation mat, but I did not accept it. Swamiji left and came back and again offered me the mat, and this time I took it. When I woke up I was wondering how Sri Swamiji could give me the mat as this was not acceptable for me. In my mind I had not accepted the mat. I do not think that I deserve it even though I feel so close to Swamiji. My devotion to Swamiji is strengthened when I observe the devotion of the young devotees that accompanies’ Sri Swamiji. To me those devotees are out of this world and that gives me the incentive to serve.
In 1984, miraculously I joined the Kriya yoga camp held in Arima. Another devotee who was scheduled to take the course suddenly cancelled and I was allowed in. Swamiji told us that we should not to let anyone touch us and that we had to stay with Him for seven days and nights. After four days I left and went home because I wanted to smoke a cigarette. I later regretted that decision even though I went back the next morning. When I took the first pull of the cigarette I saw Sri Swamiji standing inside of me and I thought, Oh my God, I give Swamiji a cigarette to smoke. I felt saddened as I thought that I had done something really wrong. At that moment I knew Swamiji was in charge and that He had taken over everyone’s minds; they were not the same people during that course. He taught us many things during those seven days, which were the most powerful days of my life, as God was directly working through Him. I also received initiation in Kriya Yoga from Swamiji during that period.
Jesus said “those that are pure at heart will see God” and I see God all the time. I am very lucky and I have the great fortune to be with God. I am one of the riches persons in the world because of my relationship with Sri Swamiji, and my relationship with God, which is out of the world. You need to know things about yourself to become a better devotee. Swamiji has fed me slowly and brought me a long way. Some things I wanted I had to wait for, like my house.
When the Hanuman murti was being inaugurated, devotees were told they can take coconuts, perform a special puja and make a personal wish at the Feet of Hanuman. My family and I did as told and within three weeks a friend called and said he had something for me. It was a house. Swamiji has given me my home as a blessing from Hanuman. I got it as a 50th birthday gift. Since the age of three, my family has always rented and now I do not have to pay a rent for the first time.
At the age of twenty-three I met Sri Swamiji for the first time. I learned about Him from satsanghas that were held at Dr Chandool’s and Dr Lalla’s homes. We were told that Sri Swamiji is in every square inch of the earth; that He has many bodies and is very present and powerful and that is God. There are no longer any questions as to who He is, it’s his presence. I cannot describe how I see Sri Swamiji, but some people are not ready for these experiences.
There was a devotee who gave up his business to serve Sri Swamiji, and Sri Swamiji left him at the Hanuman murti. One day when I was doing pradakshina to Hanuman, I said that I was seeing the Feet of Hanuman instead of mine; I said that he was seeing the anklets and this made him anxious and excited. He shared the experience with a man who did not belief and he became very disenchanted with me for that.
One day I was at the Hanuman doing mediation when I saw several swamis. When I stopped meditating I saw a girl on my right, and maybe one on the left, so I started meditating again. However this time I saw a really big Swami but I could not see his head. When I was finished meditating, I told the girl that I saw all those Swamis, it was like a whole family of them right at the Hanuman but she dismissed me.
Are these people far from divinity? There she was sitting at the temple, knocking on the door for God but looking for the priest. She was not able to appreciate this experience. How can one appreciate Sri Swamiji if you cannot appreciate the lesser things? I have reached a point where I do not want anything from anyone except love. I also do not want anything from this world as this world has nothing to give except time. I want what Hanuman does; to serve. No liberation or Moksha, I just wants to serve, from my heart and with love. With someone like Swamiji it is possible.
In 2011, while walking around the Hanuman; there was a picture of Sri Swamiji, on the side, that did not look like Him. Before Sri Swamiji came the picture was changed but I did not know. Because the previous one did not look like Him, He never used to watch it, but then He noticed that it was changed. That was like a blessing to see someone respond to how I was feeling. Swamiji himself must have corrected that.
When I did pradakshina, at the Hanuman, I would walk for about an hour on the outside perimeter and repeat my mantras while other people would walk on the inside perimeter. When Sri Swamiji came, He too walked on the outside perimeter as well. Experiences like these would last me beyond my life time. Although I do not think that Sri Swamiji walked on the outside to make me happy, but it was just coincidental. However the experience with the picture was divine.
Recently, on a visit to Trinidad, Sri Swamiji came and stood next to me and as soon as I noticed Him He walked away. This was not a dream but an actual event. Sometimes He just wants the acknowledgement that you know that He is there. It is amazing how He can be there for all His devotees. If all gurus can do that then the world of gurus is immaculate, it’s special. Swamiji and Satya Sai Baba have been chosen to walk as God, and I am not going to separate them. I know Swamiji is my guru.
Sri Swamiji is special to me because He is the one I see all the time. I see myself walking with Him. On one occasion my family had arranged for me to see a psychic, but he was not able to tell me much. When the interview was over I saw Sri Swamiji getting up from the seat instead of me protecting me from that man. Coincidently that man died soon after. Swamiji was protecting me by not showing anything about me; so I know that Sri Swamiji has to be God. How can He be at some many places at the same time? I do not know how many other people see Swamiji all the time but He is there and very present no matter where I am.
I do not have to go to Swamiji physically as He is always here. I have seen Sri Swamiji as Lord Rama, with horses and everything. When Swamiji was talking about Rama, I knew that Rama was there as I felt him moving in the crowd. I saw Hanuman too. I have never seen Sita or Krishna. I have had good experiences with all the other Godheads. First was Lord Ganesha. Someone had asked me to do puja and I did it even when I did not want to and when I went home I saw the energy of the Divine Mother. These experiences make me very happy and they are quite common to me. When Sri Swamiji is there you really don’t want to meet anyone else.
It is difficult to understand how all these things would happen to me. I have also seen Jesus a few times; the first time He was protecting him from my father whom I loved. But my father became a different person when he was drunk. After the passing of my father, the family suffered for seven years. As I was the eldest I had to look after the family. I learned responsibility from a very young age but had a few bad habits like smoking and drinking. Swamiji took away those habits by the time I was thirty-seven.
I think that God is very comfortable to walk in and out of your life, whether it is Swamiji or anybody else. If you prepare your body and mind for God it becomes easy for you to communicate with Him. I think Sri Swamiji is happy with me now though there are probably a few changes. I always asked who my guru was.
On one occasion I played Pahi Pahi on a harmonica for Sri Swamiji and He asked me to get one for Him. I found one and presented it to Him. Sri Swamiji took it and put it in the museum in India. If I had known that I would have given my personal one. Jaitra says that it is still in the museum.
Sri Swamiji has a way of doing things. There are no negatives. Like when He enters into the fire He shows you who He is; that nothing can harm him. He will destroy all the negatives. He is very positive. When you think you know Him He will carry you a step further. His being is beautiful and it gets better and better.
During one of Sri Swamiji’s visit to Trinidad I couldn’t go to the center as I had to work. However, the radio announcer said that he had recorded the entire program and was going to play it back later that evening. There was a delay but when it started I was listening to it, at the end I was very happy when I heard the Dancing tune. That song means much to me as He took nothing and made that tune.
When I fasted I burned all my karma and had no ego but had to create a leela as all I wanted to do was serve God. I was impatient to find out why all these experiences happened and who was my guru? When I found out it was Ramakrishna Paramahamsa I cried for an entire day as I had a good experience while reading his book. I used to cry while reading the book so I would only read one page a day but no one knew I used to cry. One day I was at the center and Swamiji was near to me and something came over me and I just wanted to shout Krishna but I could not say anything. Sri Sri Sri Ganapati Sachchidananda Swamiji is Lord Krishna, He is all the saints. He does all their Karma. He is neither woman nor man; Indian, Negro, nor white, He is not a Hindu, a Christian, or a Muslim; for He is all of that and more. There is no one like Sri Swamiji in the world. He is absolute. Jaya Guru Datta