Krishnappa Siddartha, Mysore

All my mundane thoughts were being supplanted by thoughts of This Being.

 I, Krishnappa, was named as Siddhartha by Parama Pujya Sri Ganapathy Sachchidananda Swamiji, on joining the Ashrama in May 1990 voluntarily, to render my humble service. I became a devotee of Pujya Sri Swamiji since May 1976 when was an employee of Indian Institute of Science, a prestigious academic Institution at Bangalore, founded by the Tata group.  I had worked in different capacities in the Administration of the students’ Hostel and was liked by both the administration and student bodies for my dedication and impartial handling of day to day affairs.

Ever since my father left for the heavenly abode when I was barely four years old, my mother became my mentor, provider and protector. With her love and care, I grew in accordance to her ideals.  Although, I had the full support from the strength of my mother, I would sometimes bow to my inner fear that something was missing from my life. Though I used to visit temples regularly, my mind was not attuned to religious acts. Somehow, the religion was not in the frontal mirror of my psyche.

In the midst of this predicament, sometime in May, of the year 1976, I was invited to attend a Bhajan session (held on Thursdays) by a co-worker, Mr. Sri Kumar, at the residence of Mr. R.R. Bhupathi, an ardent devotee of His Holiness Parama Pujya Sri Sri Sri Ganapathy Sachchidananda Swamiji. This session was conducted by the Bangalore branch of Sri Ganapathy Sachchidananda Ashrama, Mysore.  The bhajans were different from the conventional bhajans I knew. However, I was fascinated with the fact that all the bhajans were composed and rendered by Pujya Sri Swamiji Himself.  When I beheld His photograph and stared into His eyes, a serene and unconditional love permeated my whole body.

At the end of the Bhajan session, Mr. Bhupathi’s wife, Mrs. Shakuntalamma invited interested devotees to visit Mysore ashrama to attend Pujya Sri Swamiji’s Birthday celebrations, which were presently going on.  Unconsciously, I had decided to visit the Ashrama in Mysore to have the darshan of Pujya Sri Swamiji. I informed my co-worker that I would join him on my maiden trip to Mysore Ashrama for Pujya Sri Swamiji’s Birthday celebrations. There I had the darshan of His Holiness in the living form; what a sight it was to behold.  I was actually standing before Divinity personified. There is no physical explanation for my emotions at that period. I was calm, but in awe and wonder.

Within a few months, I had the privilege of witnessing for the first time, a miraculous creation made by Pujya Sri Swamiji at the consecration of Ganapati temple in Tumkur, near Bangalore.  It was the manifestation of two-faced Rudraksha encased in gold.  My obscure mind was forever vindicated at this instant and was convinced that Pujya Sri Swamji was verily the present incarnation of the Godhead.

In February 1977, I again attended Maha Shivaratri celebration at Mysore Ashrama. During the celebrations I observed, with ignorance and reverence, the Sadguru in the perpetual form of the benevolent Lord Shiva.  He descended into the fire pit and performed Agni Puja.

On this occasion, the devotees informed me that Pujya Sri Swamiji has been doing this Agni Puja from the inception of the Ashrama during Maha Shivaratri and also during Navaratri celebrations.  The whole audience was simply unmoved and worshiped Him with tenacious chanting of Om Namaha Shivaya.  In the evening, all the devotees were permitted to perform Abhishekam to Lord Sachchidanandeshwara personally.  For the first time in my life I sat through the night into the next day, immersed in the celebrations. The nightlong rituals, pujas conducted continuously amidst Music concerts by renown artists, and Bhajans, spiritual lectures and benedictions by Pujya Sri Swamiji is etched as an unforgettable memory in my life.

My faith and my consciousness grew rapidly. And all my mundane thoughts were being supplanted by thoughts of This Being.  The ability to get my work done was becoming simpler, and I was able to lead a better life.  I was now differentiating between the limits of “No stress” versus “work stress”.

In 1981, Sri Krishna Bhatt donated the land in Giri Nagar, Bangalore for the development and conducting activities of Gnana Bodha Sabha, Bangalore, which was founded by Pujya Sri Swamiji. I was actively involved in rendering voluntary services and other seva. For the small services I was rendering to the Ashrama, Pujya Sri Swamiji graced me abundantly that are in my memory all the time. I can pick a few incidents that are noteworthy to be mentioned here.

In February 1983, I met with a near fatal accident in which I suffered chest and head injuries. There were three to four rib fractures on left side of my chest, which refused to heal in spite of treatment by doctors of various disciplines including allopathic, Ayurvedic and indigenous bone setting specialists. Even after three months nothing made me better and the pain due to ribs facture remained.  In the month of May 1983, a grand function to celebrate Sri Lakshminarasimha Jayanti was organized and I got the seva to manage the chappal stand with my nephews and my sister (Mrs. Parvathi).  At the end of function, I received the prasadam offered to Lord Lakshminarasimha by Pujya Sri Swamiji’s divine hands. I ate the prasadam and to my utter surprise, the next morning I was relived of the pain and the ribs were set to normalcy. I was mentally moved by His grace and had no words to thank or explain.

Another incident that I recall is the suffering from painful spondilitis since 1978.  One day in 1989, Pujya Sri Swamiji appeared in my dream in the early morning hours.  In the dream, he put His right hand on my shoulder and walked along with me.  I felt thrill as well as remorse for His inexplicable grace showered upon me.  My mind thought of submitting reverential pranams to His Holy feet. Suddenly, Pujya Sri Swamiji stopped walking.  I bowed to touch His feet and do pranam.  Pujya Sri Swamiji moved His divine hand through my vertebral column of back bone and stopped His hand at the paining spot.  His Holiness blessed me saying, `this day, I am blessing you the utmost’.  The energy passing through His hands was like a High-voltage electric shock for a second and my lifelong suffering and pain vanished in no time.

The above incident enhanced my faith in Sadguru and was actively involving in Bangalore Ashram’s activities.  In 1990, I resigned my position at Indian Institute of Science with the intention of joining the Ashrama to serve voluntarily.  My superiors, administrators and co-workers tried to dissuade me from these intentions, to no avail.  I decided that I had found my calling and wanted to serve my Sadguru only.  Finally, I arrived at Mysore Ashrama May 27^th 1990 and my first job was that of a telephone attender.

With the grace of Parama Pujya Sri Ganapathy Sachchidananda Swamiji, I am entrusted with the administration as a public relations officer (PRO) and also as the Manager and Trustee for Bhaktimala Trust.  In addition, I was in-charge of the developmental activities at two Ashrama branches since 1987.  The one in Mekedatu (Sangama), the holy confluence where my Master took form, is pristine nature and now houses an Ashrama with Guru Nilayam, Temple complex, halls for spiritual / cultural and social activities, kitchen and dining halls for Annadanam and accommodation for visitors.

At the Sangama, the Sangameshwara temple where Mata Jayalakshmi visited religiously to offer prayers and decorate the idol is also renovated by His Holiness. The second one is at Sogala, in the same house where Sri Mata Jayalakshmi was born. This is meant for spiritual and social activities for the benefit of the villagers. In this village, the great-grandfather of Mata Jayalakshmi, Sri Yogi Subbaiah’s Adhistana is also there and people worship this place with faith to get rid of the evil effects. It was my great fortune that I was associated with the development of these holy places

The biggest miracle Pujya Sri Swamiji did in my life was mending my mind from the behavior of `Durvasa’ to the level of `Siddhartha’. While at Bangalore, I was a high tempered and aggressive person by nature. Understanding this, Pujya Sri Swamiji transformed me into a calm and quiet personality, through His indirect teachings. By this, I feel relieved of the fear of taking many more births, just to nullify the deeds arising, due to wrong temperament and aggressive nature. This was possible only by Parama Pujya Sri Ganapathy Sachchidananda Swamiji, my Sadgurudeva, with His divine blessings.

Jaya Guru Datta.

C S Varada Raja, Bangalore

How can mere mortals compare themselves with the almighty?

 Looking fiercely into me eyes He blurted out, “you Varada, you have committed many sins and mistakes, you must improve and come to me. These were the first words spoken directly to me by my Master Kula Devata Sadguru Datta Avadootha Sri Sri Sri Ganapati Sachchidananda Swamiji.  He was visiting our house in Jayanagar for the first time in November 1966. To this reprimand I could not say anything, but bow my head and walked away.

I am military personnel, the second son of Smt Sharadamma, an ardent devotee of His Holiness. I am the brother of Swami Manasa Datta. I have three other brothers and a sister. Intuitively, after this incident, my mother insisted that I accompany her to the Ashrama where my other family members were already visiting. Sri Swamiji greeted me with a beautiful smile and said; Hey! Military come here, and cautioned me to do some work; which included the repair of old useless pair of tablas, and an antique cash chess.

He was testing my obedience and loyalty, as though we had known each from previous births. As time went by, we would play around the mango trees in front of the small thatched huts. Once He went inside the hut and made me lock the door and keep the key. To my surprise when I turned around he was standing right besides me, but the door was still locked.

On one occasion He informed me that He wanted vibhuti and that I must take, a ten year old boy, Srinath, with me and go to Thiruchendur Muruga temple. I must learn how it is made and bring back two full boxes. This was a direct order. On our return He was very pleased and He blessed us.

On another occasion, He purposefully challenged a group of five boys to climb the Chamundi Hills, barefooted with Him, across from the gate from the Ashrama. A task that was completed by Him in two to three minute took us a treacherous forty five minutes. How can mere mortals compare themselves with the almighty? To compound the matter, He chided me by saying; what military, no use. I was so ashamed, as my feet were covered with thorn and blisters.

At the spring that sprouted from the spot where He was standing, Sri Swamiji took His kamandalu and poured water over our heads and bodies. He affectionately bathed us as a mother would. It was a process of washing off our sins and ego.

His next challenge was to have us lift the kamandalu. Try as we may we could not move the vessel. Then He mockingly smiled and proclaimed; that we were just useless fellows, you cannot even lift a small kamandalu. He then chided; come, go around me three times and pray, for I am Lord Ganesha. After this the kamandalu became light as a feather. Oh! We were so surprised. He informed us that there were saligrama and a shivalinga inside the pot that represented Lord Vishnu and Lord Shiva, hence the pot was heavy. Only Guru’s Grace can give  you the power to lift it. Our return trip took Him two to three minutes versus our twenty-five to thirty minutes.

Hey Military! Come to the Ashrama early tomorrow, okay! Yes Swamiji, I said like an obedient child. Early next morning He was waiting when I came. First you must give an oil massage to My head and body. I poured warm oil over His matted hair and young muscular yogic body. It was hard work, but with immense enjoyment I started chanting Om Namaha Shivaya. He was none other that Shiva Digambara in Kaupeena.

My cousin Venkateshwara and I were ordered to perform Shiva Abhishekam; we smiled innocently, informing Him that we did not know anything. Sri Swamiji insisted that we should proceed and follow what He said. He chanted the rudram and other mantras and finally we performed mangalaarti and offered naivedium. Since that day we try not to miss a single Sivarathri.

A true devotee doesn’t have to be intelligent. In April 1972, Sri Swamiji visited our home in Tuticorin. He initiated that I should make arrangements to leave the next day on a pilgrimage to the south with my parents. My financial situation was not in a state for me to support this trip.

Suspecting my dilemma, this Enlightened One, inquired if I had money, without a reply He patted His stomach and produced a wad of ten rupees notes which he instantly handed to me. Neither did I count it nor thanked Him for the gesture. I immediately left to make the arrangements for the trip. I also applied and got a week’s time off without any hassle.

Our first stop, on this journey, was the temple of the venerable Lord Murugan in Thiruchendur. During my hurried preparation I had hired a taxi to accompany Sri Swamiji’s car. To my amazement the taxi was named Lord Muruga and was driven by a Christian gentleman.

After the vibhuti alankaram and aarti, Sri Swamiji had darsan of the Lord and then sat outside on a high pedestal. People had started to queue up for the prasadam. Suddenly the temple elephant came to Sri Swamiji and respectfully bowed to Him. All the devotees immediately started to queue up before His Holiness to receive the Holy Ash from His Hands. Sri Swamiji mockingly remarked to me whilst pointing to the Murti and smiling innocently, Varada, who is Muruga, is it He or Me?

Our journey then took us to Kanyakumari, Suchindram, Nagercoil, and Madurai. On the way He mentioned that we should look out for an old man who was looking for Him. Not long afterwards an old man stop the car, Sri Swamiji spoke to and bless him, and we continued our trip. In Dhanushkodi, a place where Ram Pariwara took bath after the victorious battle at Sri Lanka, Sri Swamiji and I took bath there. At Suchindram, a resplendent fifty foot tall Murti of Lord Hanuman majestically stands.

My third child, Datta Prasad, a baby boy, was born on January 1^st, 1978 at 7.20 p.m. Although it was a government restricted holiday, I was attending to some work at my office in Annanagar. Just before lunch and to my surprise, Sri Swamiji telephoned me and started a conversation; Varada, what are you doing? I responded that I was doing some work. He said, I want to give you a News Years gift. What do you want? I became dumbstruck and kept mum. He continued, are you not worried that you have two daughters and no sons? Today a son will be born to your family at 7.20p.m. You must name him Datta Prasad, since it was my sankalpa during the Datta Jayanti celebrations.

In late 1983, Sri Swamiji visited Sriharikota, where I was staying and stayed for a day. Devotees were allowed to perform Pada Puja. His Holiness visited the Ganesha temple, sang bhajans and spoke to the audience. The next day He visited the launch pad of the SLV-3 vehicle. The launch was scheduled for the following April 3^rd. 1984 at 9.00am. Sri Swamiji predicted that the launch will occur at 9.07a.m instead. Under protestations from the scientists and engineers on the ground, things happened as predicted. Later that year a cyclone devastated the island with little causalities, and this too was only the Grace of my Omniscient Sadgurudeva, Sri Swamiji.

Sri Swamiji had come to Calcutta for a visit and I was summoned to be there with Him. First He visited Kalighat and performed puja to Sri Kalimatha. Placing His right hand on the murti, He calmly reminded me that He was verily the venerable Sri Kali. Later He visited Sri Ramakrishna Mutt and the Sri Kali temple, on the shores of the Ganges.

After visiting the several Shiva Lingas at the temple, Sri Swamiji sat on the exterior steps to rest. I sat immediately behind Him. Suddenly He turned to me and said, Varada, at this present time the planets are in their correct benedictory places, you must ask for three boons. I hesitated, but He insisted twice. Under protestations I finally succumbed and the boons asked for were granted. They were;

1. That I should remember Him always,

2. That His name will be on my lips and I will have His darsan at the time I depart my mortal coil, and finally;

            3. That He will always be with me.

During a posting in Besant Nagar, I have had wonderful opportunities to serve in the Vellachery Ashrama. I would have a few boys with me, dressed in uniform, to help with the security details when He visited. Sri Swamiji was very impressed.

After awhile, with His observation, His Holiness asked if I would be able to organize security and VIP security training for some Ashrama boys. Emphatically, I happily responded to the affirmative. He kept quiet, give me a crystal stone and finally said, “You come to Madras”.

Sri, Sri Sri Ganapati Sachchidananda Swamiji has been a physical and spiritual instrument throughout my like. Every step of the way; He was either carrying me or holding my hands while we walked. I cannot recollect a period when He left me alone, to proceed by myself. If ever I had doubt Sri Swamiji would appear to me as some holy person to allay my confusion.

Miracles were constantly occurring, for my family and everyone around me. I was fully engrossed in my Master’s work. Everything He predicted came true. Every command He gave, if followed, was sure to yield results. Unconsciously, all my work was being done with a fair amount on ease. All the diseases from my body were being treated. All my footsteps were surefooted as I walk behind Him with the full knowledge that He will always be there.

Twameva mata cha pita twameva, Twameva bandhushcha sakha twameva,

Twameva vidya dravinam twameva, Twameva sarvam mama deva deva .

Kayena vacha manasendriyairva, Buddhyatmana va prakrite swabhavath,

Karoomi yadyad sakalam parasmai, Narayanayeti samarpayami.

You are my mother and my father; you are my relative and friend, You are my knowledge and my wealth, you are my all oh lord of lord. Whatever I do with my mind, body, speech or with other senses of my body, or with my intellect or with my innate natural tendencies,

I offer everything to Narayana.                                                                         Jaya Guru Datta

Shankar Sastry, Machilipatnam

Whenever I think of Him I feel calmness within me. He fills me up leaving no room for troubles and worries.

I am a retired L I C (Life Insurance Cooperation) of India officer. I reside in Machilipatnam. I met His Holiness Sri Sri Sri Ganapati Sachchidananda Swamiji sometime between, the years 1975 to 1976. A friend, Mr. M Sitaramaya, a devotee of Sri Swamiji who had met Him several times before, invited me to have His darsan. I had heard that Sri Swamiji was a spiritual man, and at that point in my life I wanted peace of mind. This was my motivation to meet Him.

We went to the Mysore Ashram where there were only a few sheds. We spent the night, even though there were lots of mosquitoes. In the early morning I got up and went to meet Sri Swamiji who was seated under a mango tree. I stood before Him and offer my pranams. At that same moment, I felt a wave-like sensation, starting from my feet travelling up to my head. This lasted for a few seconds, I composed myself. Then Sri Swamiji just waved to me and I left.

In the years that followed I would visit Him, at the ashram, twice per year during the major festivals. On an occasion, in the ashram, when a devotee from Delhi, Savitri Devi, was singing, the raga stuck in my mind and I couldn’t sense anything around me. His Holiness sent two boys to me; they called me by name but I did not wake up. My friend sitting next to me then nudged me and I came to my senses. The boys said, that Sri Swamiji has asked that I pay fifty rupees to the singer. I paid that amount but never questioned anything.

On another occasion, I was at the ashram attending the Dassera Festival. I got a high fever but I did not want to stay in the room and miss the pooja, so I went and sit where Sri Swamiji was performing the pooja. Not feeling very well I was lying on the floor. After the program someone came and told me that Sri Swamiji wanted to see me. I went to Him, He was in another building. I prostrated before Him and He asked what was wrong with me. I told Him that I had a fever. He immediately told me to open my mouth and He put vibuthi into it. After about five minutes I felt good, like I never had any fever. Then He told me to go and have prasadam (lunch). He knew that I did not have even coffee for breakfast because of the fever so He wanted me to eat something. I went and had food.

After one of my visits to Mysore, I was preparing to leave for Machilipatnam. Two of my friends were with me. The train was scheduled to leave the station at 7.30am. We thought we would have Swamiji’s darshan before we leave. He normally comes out about 6.30am. On that morning Swamiji came out later than usual, and at 7.30am we were still in the ashram. We could not leave without seeing Him. When He came and saw us, He said, “Go, go”. We hurried to the train station and to our surprise the train was still there; it was delayed because of some technical problem. We were so happy, for Swamiji had delayed the train for us.

I wanted to meet Sri Swamiji because I wanted peace of mind. I met Him and received more than that. Whenever I think of Him I feel calmness within me. He fills me up leaving no room for troubles and worries. When the worries and troubles come they melt away by the mere thoughts of Him. He is omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent; He is in Machilipatnam, Mysore, Madras and everywhere. He is there; ready to help. Such is His love for His devotees.

Over the years I have learnt how to put a little control on my thoughts. Everyday I sit for some time and watch my thoughts, and when the unwanted thoughts come I concentrate on the upadesam mantra I had received from Him, more than thirty-five years ago, and those unwanted thoughts go away. I try to keep Him always, in my mind, so the unwanted thoughts would not get a chance to manifest. This is all due to the greatness of Sri Ganapati Sachchidananda Swamiji.

We define God as one who sees everything, knows everything and is everything. In that case Sri Swamiji is my God. I am ever grateful for the little glimpse I got into His unexplainable reality. Jaya Guru Datta

C S Narasimha, Bangalore

However, I was able to experience the joy of a God-communion in the presence and form of Sri Swamiji’s infinite divine personality for more than an hour. I got the impression that ‘He was the true torchbearer of Hindu renaissance’

In April 1966, I had my maiden darsan of His Holiness, Sri Sri Sri Ganapati Sachchidananda Swamiji. This extraordinary spectacle occurred in Kesare (Electric Company) Mysore. I had accompanied my beloved mother Smt Sharadamma, who had immeasurable faith in Guru Parampara (tradition).

Smt Sharadamma was a devotee of Sri Shankaralinga Bhagavan, who had predicted that after His Samadhi, He will give darsan to His devotees in the form of Bala Datta. My mother’s inherent knowledge was that this young Swamiji was indeed her Guru. His picture had a tremendous influence over my family.

Although, I was not an atheist (nasthik), I did not have the discipline to have devotion (Bhakti) to God or Guru. However, I was able to experience the joy of a God-communion in the presence and form of Sri Swamiji’s infinite divine personality for more than an hour. I got the impression that ‘He was the true torchbearer of Hindu renaissance’.

My next encounter was on 06-06-1966. On this date the Ashrama was formally moved to the present location. The idyllic setting of the Ashrama was filled with trees and plants that were conducive for spiritual study and growth. Out of this He has built a modest but permanent Ashrama for the ever expanding circle of devotees. My subsequent visits to the ashrama were sponteanous.

During our first meeting at the new Ashrama, Sri Swamiji narrated the glories of God and the need to serve Him. He iterated that God is the Only Reality and that He is omnipotent. We must enjoy or suffer the consequences for our actions, for attributing them to God is impious. Inevitable failures should never disillusion us.

Quoting the life of Sri Rama, He showed that His life was a chain of total suffering, who not only made tangible material sacrifices, but also the more difficult renunciation of selfish motives, while merging His innermost being in a stream of humanity as a whole. He advised that every problem would lead itself to solutions if we are determined to make the law of truth and non-violence our law of life. Develop endurance, fortitude and be brave.

My parents influence, and particularly, my mother’s inspiration and immeasurable faith in her Guru were the main instruments that brought this mangled body to the Lotus Feet of my Pujya Sadgurudeva. There was a silent spiritual awakening, an awakening that propelled me to look into my physical self. That self that has form and can be seem.

My mother had strong desire for wanting me to pursue my higher education, and decided promptly to appeal to Sri Swamiji about my academic career and future course of action. But even before asking, His Holiness cautioned that I must continue my higher studies. Although I did not meet the eligibility criteria for acceptance into the program I got an invitation to join the post-graduate class.

The first Navaratri celebration at the new Ashrama was in a small thatched hut. I was chosen to help in the Nava Aavarana Puja. He explained in detail, the significance of Devi Puja, the divisions of Sri Chakra as nine Aavarana, and the whole manifestation of Sri Raja Rajeshwari, which is nothing but the universal Cosmic Energy. He performed the Navavarana Puja chanting only Beejaksharas (seed letters) and moola mantras only.

The flowers supply for the first day of the Devi Puja was totally inadequate, abundant amounts of flowers were required. As a student I was not in a position to procure this amenity, nor did I want to bother my parents with this burden. Anyway, I confided to my mother about my dilemma and to my surprise she was able to supply all the flowers needed for the next day Pujas.

The lesson learnt from this; was that ‘we should use all our energy in serving Him’. Serving the Guru with unbounding faith will make the pathway easier to traverse. There is a reason and a time for every purpose under the Heaven. I realize that God/Guru is simple and everything else is so complex.

In November 1996, Sri Swamiji informed me that he will visit our house in Jayanagar, Mysore. This information was not only a surprise but one of confusion and excitement. We proceeded to make all the arrangements for His visit. I made arrangements, with a taxi, for His travel to and from the house, which was about five kilometers away. Sri Swamiji bluntly refused the proposal and informed me that the cost for hiring the taxi should be given to the Ashram. He will walk to and from the house. As promised, His Holiness walked to the house with a few devotees.

Divya Nama Sankeertana or Naadopaasana and nirthya (dance) are the simplest and easiest way to approach God for those in pursuit of Bhakti through music. Divya Nama Sankeertana or music gathering is an effective form of yoga or spiritual discipline necessitating intense concentration, and full absorption of the mind. Those were the messages that were parted from His lips on this occasion.

Sri Swamiji, being fond of children, had taken a special likeness to my youngest brother, fourteen years old Radhakrishna (Swami Manasa Datta). They look into each other eyes with glowing tears and a blissful wave of cosmic love engulfed them. Did they recollect their association from previous birth? His Appaji then gently struck his forehead and blessed the house with a Vigneshwara idol that was manifested from the Bhiksha offered to Him. That moment was the beginning of Sri Swamiji’s teaching to us; the secret of balanced living.

Unknowingly the spiritual dynamo in Sri Swamiji kept dragging me to the Ashrama everyday, although I was desperately trying to find employment. He said that one has to go through the laws of karma, and there was no way of escaping it. None can eradicate past karmas without worldly experiences.

One day, in the midst of a satsangha program, at the Ashrama, Sri Swamiji called my mother and giving her a packet of vibhuti, candidly informed that she should immediately go back to her home. She was confused, but unhesitant obeyed. When she got home she found out that my father, an education officer, had an attack of paralysis and was hospitalized. My brother who is a medical doctor was treating him. He stayed hospitalized for eight days, and at home for one year.  No one knows the wonder of Sadguru. In the packet of vibhuti that was given to my mother, lay the strength and confidence to face immediate problems.

My parents were in search for a suitable match for my marriage. This decision I had not left to Sri Swamiji, but He suggested a match to which I did not consent. He informed that I should get into Chakra Vyuha (wedlock), and even though you have no confidence in My decision, I will be with you in choosing a suitable match, maybe in Bangalore. The marriage with Smt. Usha, from Bangalore was arranged on March 7^th, 1973. Although He was not present at the marriage, He sent prasadam at the exact muhurtam. “Guru is always simple amidst the complexities of life”.

Thirteen days after the birth of my son, Sachchidananda, in May, 1974, my wife was diagnosed with brain tumor. With the Grace of Sri Swamiji, she had surgery and was released from the hospital within ten days. His Holiness visited the house where she was staying after her discharge, and informed that we should perform Mrityunjaya Japa for thirteen days with purity and devotion.

In April of 2004 just before leaving for the West Indies Sri Swamiji said that He was doing a special prayer in the Bangalore Ashram for someone who is going to become sick.  With this he left India. Shortly after we had a fire at our home caused by the explosion of a gas cylinder; my wife suffered from burns to thirty percent of her body. She was admitted to the hospital and in addition to the burns she also suffered from diabetes. The first fifteen days was terrible for her.

On the sixteenth day Swamiji was back in India and in Hyderabad, he called me by telephone and asked me whether my wife was alive or dead. I told him that she was in the hospital recovering. That same night my wife had a dream where Sri Swamiji was singing Devi bhajans and His body was covered with bandages. She woke up about 5am and told me of the dream.  She was feeling much better. Later on we found out that in Hyderabad at the same time, Dr Phanishree who is Sri Swamiji’s physician, was attending to Him. He had itches and seem to be suffering some ailment, which Dr. Phanishree could not diagnose. Swamiji was given sleeping pills to rest and he woke up at 5.00 am He told Dr. Phanishree that He was feeling better.  Sri Swamiji had taken all the pain and illness of my wife on Himself and so saved her life once again.

From the very first day I laid my eyes on Sri Swamiji I knew that He is the one who will direct my life. It is said in the Guru Gita that you will recognize your guru when you come in contact with Him. I knew it in my heart when I met Sri Swamiji that He was the one, the one who holds my life in His hands. As time passed by I learned to surrender all at His feet and know that He will take care. Whenever I get any problems I do Nama sankirtana and all worries dissolve away. That is the power of His name. Om Sri Ganapati Sachchidananda Namaha

In Sri Sri Sri Ganapati Sachchidananda Swamiji’s leela, there is a lesson for everyone; the lesson of relationships. The relationship between Guru and Sishya is most intimate and not a business deal. This relationship is based on pure, unbounded and unconditional love, by the disciple who wholly subordinates himself to the Guru.

I have witnessed many divine incidents since meeting with my Guru in 1966. I have suffered through many trials and tribulations. I have seen lots of doors open and close in front of me. I have incurred the wrought of some, but also indulged in lasting and meaningful relationships with so many souls, that what I am today could not have been without the fostering help of my Sadgurudeva Parama Pujya Sri Sri Sri Ganapati Sachchidananda Swamiji. Jaya Guru Datta.

Sri Swamiji Says: 

Man enters the world alone and leaves it also alone. All that happens, in between the womb and tomb is a big drama.

Mukunda Balroop  “I am closer to you than your very own bones; know this for certain!”

I have been following Sri Swamiji since August 1976 when He first visited Trinidad. I pride myself in the fact that I have not given any thought about leaving Him; about going to another guru. For me this is a great achievement for I have seen many devotees do this.

My quest started when my friend Anthony Alphonse and I   started to go deeper into spirituality. Our search took us sometimes out of our conventional Christian religion, as we knew it. In his search he could not find the spirituality that he was looking for here. Suddenly, one day he told me, “I’m going to India.” There he spent nine months at the Sathya Sai Baba’s Ashram. Even in this search he still was unable to get satisfaction. After hearing about a holy person staying in Mysore, he left that place and went to Mysore where he met Sri Ganapathi Sachchidananda Swamiji.

While visiting the Mysore Ashram, he befriended another devotee, Sri Raja Ram Naidu, who asked him, “Why don’t you invite Sri Swamiji to Trinidad?” He approached Sri Swamiji with the proposal and He said, “Yes I will come, can you arrange?”

On his return, he approached four to five persons he knew, to pool some money to prepare for the young Indian Swami who wanted to visit Trinidad. He asked me, “Can you do this? Can you help?” I said, “Yes, definitely.” The strange thing though was that though I was not a Hindu, at least not a practicing Hindu, I wanted to help.  My ancestors were Hindus, but my father had converted to Christianity, because at that time if they wanted jobs they had to convert. Anyway, a few of us all put our funds together and Sri Swamiji came.

On August 14^th 1976, Sri Swamiji came to Trinidad for the first time for just two days. Initially I felt He was just another person, but somehow I found myself at Dr. Chandool’s residence at 7.00 am the next morning, knocking on the gate asking, “I would like to see the Swami.” Dr. Chandool (whom I did not know) came out and said “I’m sorry, it’s too early; you should go to the Mayor’s office in Port of Spain where He will be going shortly and there you will be able to meet Him.” So I went to the Mayor’s office and there I saw Him but didn’t get to meet with Him. He had this flowing beard and strange robes– something with which I was not familiar.

I learnt that He would be visiting the St James Temple later that day so intuitively I went there. My friend, Anthony Alphonse spots me at the entrance and calls me. He says “Hi David! Come, I would like you to meet this Swamiji.” At the same time Sri Swamiji also saw me. Coming forward, He put his hand out to me and we shook hands. Suddenly I was in a daze. I don’t know what happened, but I found myself backing away from Him. Some strange feeling came on me and I saw the Swami passing His hand on the railing and materializing something which He gave to Alphonse.

I just stood there watching Him while He examined the place. He was looking at the Murtis and everything around Him. Without saying anything to anyone I went home and fell asleep on the couch. As if in a vision, I clearly saw the word AVADOOTA. As I did not know the meaning of that word, it puzzled me. Next day there was a satsangha and I went there, sitting at the back. I was telling myself “I am not following you, I am not following you. I am just here to observe.” I sat curiously at the back watching. Then He started to sing; I think a Rama Bhajan.

Suddenly I started feeling as though ants were biting me along my spine. This caused me to move uncontrollably and I was feeling embarrassed, because all the others were keeping still. “What was this strange thing happening to me?” Anyway after the satsangha this feeling quieted and I felt better.

Sitting next to me was a very famous dancer, Krishna Persad, who spent many years doing dance in Trinidad. The Swami called him up saying “Come.” He materialized something and giving it to him, He said “Don’t show it to anyone.” As I was sitting next to him, curiously I was wondering “What is this He gave to him?” Having cupped it in his hands he never showed it to anyone.

Then everyone got up and starting moving around, but this Swamiji remained sitting there. Finally He spoke, although not in English, asking if there was anyone to see Him. Dr. Chandool asked, “Anyone else wants to see the Swami?” I got up and moved towards Him. In my mind, I kept saying, “I am not interested in following you, but I would like your blessing.” He offered me a flower and said, “You call my name, say my name.” That was our first meeting.

Since that first meeting my life changed, because in those days, I would eat meat, drink alcohol and make the social circles. However, after six months I became disinterested and I wanted to meet Him again. I was thinking more about Him and I couldn’t understand why. “What is this strange pull that I am feeling?” I needed to find out more what was happening to me? So I started going to the satsangha to see what it was about. I didn’t understand anything; what was satsangha? What was a bhajan?

In those days we had no photographs of His Holiness, only one music cassette. We kept playing that cassette over and over and over at the satsangha. Radha Krishna, now Swami Manasa Datta sang on that cassette also and it is that cassette that gave us inspiration. How is that? I wrote letters to Sri Swamiji, asking Him to be close to Him. Then in His response to one of the letter I wrote, He wrote. “I am closer to you than your very own bones; know this for certain!” This remark obviously made me think a lot, that even till today I still question, ‘what does he mean by that?’ What is the inspiration in that message? Learning about the Guru Tatwa, it says that Guru is everywhere and is in everything; if you speak to this book, thinking Guru is there, Guru will be there.

Guru is in everything, so this Guru Tattva is becoming clearer to me. Holding on to the words of the Guru inspires me daily. For example, He said to me, “I will make you silent,” and every day, more and more I see that experience. He said to me “One day, you will see Swamiji everywhere,” and slowly that experience is developing. Now, these words are in my mind, in my head, and I am holding on to them like a rope that is pulling me towards the Guru.

After our initial meeting with Sri Swamiji, we had some training with Babaji at the Om Tat Sat Center from 1977 to 1980. He was training us how to be with the Guru; not thinking negative, what one should do, and how one should be. Those teachings helped us considerably so that when we met Sri Swamiji in the USA we got a chance to serve the Guru, by His Grace only. This training will be with me for the rest of my life, without which we would have struggled much more. This training gave us insights into how to serve the Guru.

Some of the opportunities given to us included the production of many books, pamphlets and literature. In the early days, there wasn’t any kind of literature for the western, English speaking devotees. We started with “Forty two stories” on Swamiji’s 42nd birthday. This was a book of short stories with morals, told by Swamiji. This was followed by “Follow the Master”, a guide for new devotees. We were also interpreting the materials from Bhakti Mala magazine with the training which we got from Babaji. So we were able to use that training to help put together that book.

By Guru’s Grace we did “Dattatreya: The Absolute” followed by “Datta Ananda” a book about the Datta bhajans, translated into poems. Sri Swamiji said that it was a good effort. Then over the years we did smaller works that spread His word and helped people to understand His mission. We were also involved in a lot of Public Relations work to bring Sri Swamiji to this country.  One of the leading Hindu organizations would persecute any Swamis coming into the country by denying then entry permits, and Sri Swamiji was no exception. However, with the help of others we were able to serve, helping to organize Sri Swamiji’s trips in 1984, 1986, 1988 and onwards.

We have learnt three indelible and salient things from being with Him; implicit faith, implicit love and implicit obedience. Just do what He says. Once when my family was having problems with the extended family, He said, “If Swamiji says cut your throat, then you do just that.” He was giving little lessons to us all along. He would say things to inspire you or to initiate something within you. It was his way of doing things, changing you, developing you.

I remember an incident where we had taken Sri Swamiji to Mala’s parents’ home. After the program we took Him to where He was staying in Arima. It was after midnight and we were about to leave. Suddenly, He said “Don’t go, stay here tonight.” I said “No Swamiji, it’s not a problem, we are going.” He said “If you go I’m going back with you. Stay here!” So we stayed. If we had gone then maybe some accident that He saw might have happened, we don’t know, but it was important that we followed what He said. Like this we would obey.

After He married us, we told Him that we would like to have children and He said to go ahead, everything will work according to His will. There are three boys, Datta, Srichitta and Mukta, who are really His children. That in itself is a miracle. So we are trying to live that life that He would want; we are doing service; service for His mission. Of course, we need to have more discipline and still have far to go….

The early years were about developing an organization, finding good souls and our path in that mission was to reach out to others. In 1984, I attended Hindi class in the Indian High Commission where I met Dr. Ralph Sieupersad and Siewnarine Singh Sharma, two persons who would play a crucial role in developing the ashrama here. Anywhere I could, I would go and introduce Sri Swamiji through His works and music. I also attended a Seva Sangh camp in Beaucaro Temple in Central Trinidad from where many of the devotees came to a Kriya Yoga Camp in Palmyra Village. From that Kriya Yoga course, some are now senior devotees of Sri Swamiji includes; Pt. Boloji Ramnarine, Gyan Ramlogan, Satish Ramroop, Ramrangi Ragoonanan and Krishna Maharaj.

1986 was an important year in the development of Sri Swamiji’s mission in Trinidad and Tobago. While driving to a program one day, Sri Swamiji asked me directly, “What should we call the organization?” I responded that we should call it the Dattatreya Yoga Centre, because of the great emphasis which He was giving to the propagation of Prabhu Datta and we had tried the name ‘Gyana Bodha Sabha’ before unsuccessfully. At once, He said, “Yes! That is good.” This is how we moved to form the organization.

This is my experience, travelling around with Him and getting key people to form the organization. We also did the PR for the media, through articles and pamphlets on newspaper, radio and television throughout the country, telling people about Sri Swamiji; what He does and what attitude and approach to have with Him. This was the work of the early years. People were thrilled by this Guru; the way He sang the bhajans, His multifarious practices, His Kriya yoga sessions, His personal touch, the way He would stand and talk with you, He would know exactly what to say to reach each individual, and what to say to the crowd.

This initial training and experience with Sri Swamiji has been instrumental in forming my personality.  Serving my Sadguru in the early days was about this, bringing more and more individuals to Him, helping to organize His programs, whether He was physically present or not.  I was being a bridge by which devotees could come to meet Him.

During 1986–1990, the organization really got started. It developed in the Central area, mainly in Chaguanas and in the village of Carapichaima. There He formed His first executive committee. He asked me to put names on a list of all the people who should be on the committee. When I presented the list He selected eleven persons from the twelve presented.

In one of His early trips to Trinidad, Sri Swamiji told us about a famous blessed river that existed in the country. He wanted to find that river as it was mentioned in the Brahma Purana as the Sararipo Nadi. We took Him to a small rivulet that flowed from the Aripo Mountains which He identified as the river, but not the spot, in which He was seriously interested.

In 1988 He took us on a divine drive higher up in the mountains, stopping twice and finally identifying a location where He said “This is the place.” We trekked through the forest, down a muddy track, to that spot that is now used, where the two rivers meet. There He did some offerings and pujas and blessed everybody. He said that in this area all the Rishis and Munis were sitting around and it was a very sacred place especially to Lord Dattatreya. He developed Aripo, with help from the Saroops, Anthony Ramnarine and Deo.  In the early days we cleared several trees and established Guru Padukas on a rock in the river. Later, centers were established in Princes Town through the Ramdath family, and Penal through the Saroop family. To me, they have all been doing good service for Sri Swamiji and for themselves.

In those early days Sri Swamiji was very emphatic about searching for “some old souls.” He also said that He works “slowly, slowly.”  To the one who controls time, there is no hurry.  Later, we realized that all the people that Sri Swamiji associates with closely have been linked to Him from a previous birth. There was no doubt about it because having travelled extensively with Sri Swamiji at home and abroad, as soon as He points out to a soul and says “You, stand up!” that person says, “Swamiji, I am following Dattatreya,” or Sripada Srivallabha, or Narasimha Saraswati, or some other Datta Avadhoota; some form of Dattatreya. From this, Sri Swamiji is able to pick him or her out instantly and form a link.

There is no doubt in my mind that Sri Swamiji is here as the Avatar of Lord Dattatreya to raise those souls who have gone astray; who have been linked with Him in the past, whether it was as Sripada Srivallabha, as Narasimha Saraswati, Tembe Maharaj or any Dattatreya Avadhoota, or Navanatha form of Dattatreya. He finds them, links with them and brings them to a certain point, which they are capable of in this birth. That is spiritual growth and added to that at some point in time, I’ve seen some of them leaving, even those boys who are in the ashram who seem so close, suddenly you find that they leave and go.

However, Sri Swamiji is not perturbed. Their time has come. It is quite clear, their time for being with Him is finished for now and they leave. So this spirituality, this journey, varies from human to human and we are lucky when we can get a chance to be with Him, because some of them have been so close and have not realized who He is. Even my children have gotten the opportunity to be so close to Him and we are afraid sometimes that they do not know who they are really dealing with, because this opportunity that they have is because of punya from some previous birth. But as they grow older their understanding and appreciation will grow by His Grace; I’m certain of it.

This is their good karma, but if they do not use it, if they do not develop it then they will lose it at some point in time. We must be aware of that; they must know that being with the Guru may not last forever. You can lose that Grace in an instant. It is about churning of your karma (like churning the ocean and good things coming out) and building your karmic bank balance.

Having a Guru enables me to be steady because He gave me a mantra. By continuous chanting it strengthens me.  If in some period, it seems that you are going down, it’s only because of a bad karmic period, if you have your Guru mantra that will keep you afloat. If you don’t imbibe it, you will sink. That guru mantra only keeps you afloat. This is why Sri Swamiji has been giving us so many mantras. Datta Stavam, Om Aim Hreem Shreem, Om Namo Hanumate Namaha and various mantras to say to suit the changing times. Once we say that particular mantra then we will be kept afloat by His energy.  So many people throughout the world have received mass initiation with these mantras. Such is the power of this Datta Guru.

Between the years 1980 and 1990 I had the good fortune to travel abroad during the summer vacation with Sri Swamiji and the Pariwara on several trips to American, Guadeloupe, England Germany Switzerland, France, Venezuela and Brazil. All these were opportunities to serve Him physically and gain His blessings—all due to His Grace.  Jai Guru Datta

Mala Balroop  “If the Guru tells you to cut your throat you should do it, no second thought.  If He says to go to hell, you should happily go.”

I first learnt about His Holiness, Sri Ganapathy Sachchidananda Swamiji in 1977, through my husband, although at that time we were not married. He told me that he had met someone about six months ago, whom he thought was great and he found himself just thinking about this person.

I was not a Hindu, nor did I have any clue of Swamis or satsangha.  In fact, I knew little about the actual practice of the Hindu religion. All I knew is what I had studied in theory in one course at the university on Hinduism. Anyhow, Mukunda asked me if I wanted to go to a satsangha, explaining that it was like a prayer session with singing and so on. I said “OK.” so we went to Dr. Chandool’s home.

Dr. Chandool was having a satsangha with Sant Kesavadas, an Indian Saint, who was in the country staying at his home. On the dais where Sant Kesavadas was sitting I observed a small picture of another saint. I did not know who He was, but I just found myself looking at that picture throughout the satsangha.

At the end, everybody got up and started performing aarti. I did not know what to do because I had never done this before. I was wondering should I go or should I not go. Then Mukunda said “If you want to go, then go.” I was not dressed in traditional prayers clothes, so I was hesitant. However, the pull was too strong. At the end, I found myself going up and I mentally asked Him for His blessing. However, while I was doing that I was not looking at Sant Kesavadas; until now I can’t even tell you what he looks like. I was just still looking at that picture. Later I found out it was a picture of Sri Swamiji.

After one of the satsangha that followed at Dr. Chandool, Mukunda was talking with his friends discussing about Guru Tatwa, and someone was talking about Sri Sathya Sai Baba and so on. I realized that they all seemed to have a guru. Mukunda told me that a guru was a spiritual teacher, and a thought came in my head, “Who is my guru?” This thought bothered me for the next two weeks, until I could think of nothing else!

I was going to school and teaching as usual. I lived at home with my parents, but this thought was just there. “Who is my guru? Who is my guru? Who is my guru?” It bothered me so much that I had no peace. Somehow, a little while after that slowly I started becoming interested in Lord Ganesha. Mukunda bought me a picture of Lord Ganesha which I kept in my home and I started getting more interested in actually doing some practices; like lighting a deya, and so on. My parents found that this was very strange because we were not Hindus. I myself could not believe it.

Later, we attended a satsangha that was held at a devotee’s home in Arima. There was a black and white picture of Sri Swamiji’s face just above the main door. As I saw this picture I knew it was Sri Swamiji, although I still didn’t know much about Him. Soon, everywhere I went I would see this face, always a little higher than me and looking down at me.

I started to feel as though I was going crazy. I thought, “What is this? Who is this? I don’t know you and I really don’t know if I want to know you and I don’t know anything about you.” But it bothered me, and at the same time I was getting very interested in Mukunda. Two things were happening simultaneously, I was wondering where my friendship with Mukunda was heading, and what this vision-like thing happening to me was. I don’t have any ‘sight’ or anything. I had never seen any such thing, but it was more of a vision. It was not a dream, it was not a thought. It was like really I was seeing this face. Everywhere, He was following me.

As a Christian I had a picture of Jesus Christ in my bedroom. One night I couldn’t take it anymore and I started praying to Jesus, saying “If this person is not for me, (meaning Mukunda,) take him away. If this face, I don’t know who this Swami is really, but if you are not for me just leave me alone. I don’t know anything.” So I prayed like that and that very night I had a vision.

That night, while asleep, I felt a strange angelic presence and saw a saintly figure, someone dressed in white holding up his hand and gesturing to me as if to say “Fear not.” In fact, He, the ‘angel’ as I thought it was, told me without speaking aloud, “Fear not!” I awoke feeling as though I were floating and very, very happy. I felt somehow that my friendship with Mukunda was blessed, and that I should not to be afraid. In 1980 while visiting with Sri Swamiji in the United States I confirmed with Him that He had indeed come to me and told me “Fear Not!” He also said He had been testing me severely through those closest to me, since they did not understand why I had to follow this Guru

After this incident I became more interested in Him and was totally captivated by His voice. Everyday I would immerse myself in His rapturous singing and after a while I felt that I could not live without hearing His voice.  We only had one or two cassettes and kept playing them over and over. With Mukunda’s encouragement I wrote to Him asking to please guide me. I told Him that I didn’t know anything, but I wanted to find truth and God. He replied that He would guide me and that is how I started to see Him as my Guru. I started to read about other Gurus and saints also.

In 1980, four years later, His Holiness was scheduled to visit the USA. We sent a telegraph seeking permission to have His Darshan and serve Him there. He responded saying “Yes, serve Swamiji in the U.S.” I had my first darsan of Him in the flesh, in Connecticut, USA. Ramana John Laird led Mukunda and me to Him where He was sitting in the living room. Sri Swamiji brought His palms together as though to say “Namaste”, and said, “This is what Guru does. He brings the individual soul and God as one.” He then chanted some Guru Gita sloka to us.  I feel this meeting was life-changing for me.  To be honest I felt like it was being in love for the first time, only better and it was nothing physical.  He told us, “Respect all Gurus but follow only one…Remember always you are just instruments, and follow, follow, just follow….”

Sri Swamiji has given my personal life some stability; I can’t leave Him. I just beg Him sometimes not to let me leave Him and don’t ever leave me. Over the years I feel as if He has really helped me not to be too emotional, because I am too sensitive and it was not good for my health. Having Sri Swamiji with me has raised my level of confidence.

I know that Sri Swamiji has really blessed our family and has given us good children. After a while I have learnt that it does not pay to worry, because He is really in charge, I am not; they are not in charge. It is comforting to have someone who is capable, like Swamiji to see the future, the past, the present and to take care of us and that is what I feel very strongly about–that Sri Swamiji is there to take care of all of us and guide us in every way; most of all in our search for our true selves.

Another thing Sri Swamiji has taught us is to surrender. If He tells us to do something and we don’t like it we try to follow it. Once Mukunda was not completely in favor of doing what Sri Swamiji said. I realized that the process was taking too long. At the risk of getting him angry I said, “You have to do what Swamiji says. If He says to do it now, you should not do it tomorrow, do it now, why are you waiting?” That same night I had a dream where Sri Swamiji hugged me and I knew it was because of the advice I gave to Mukunda. Another thing that I have learnt over the years, for me, not being a Hindu from birth, it was strange for me to consider husband as guru, and we used to have a lot of clashes. I felt sometimes I had to stand up and say something because sometimes he may not have been doing what I would have liked him to do.

Sri Swamiji has changed me and is still changing me. I have learnt that it is not always the best thing to be right, you have to be humble; to defeat yourself is a great thing, and that is one of the most important lessons that He has taught me. After a while I learnt that it is not really about being upset but finding Sri Swamiji within at all times, no matter what is going on around you. Another thing that He is teaching me is to see the good in everyone. By nature I am a very critical person and I was trained to pick out and critique because this is my field, language and literature.

Sri Swamiji has taught me, over the years, that fault finding is not important in the long run, God is in everyone. We have to try and see Guru in everyone, and in every situation, good or bad. Everything I do, I should do as if I’m doing it for Him. If I am washing dishes, cleaning the house, I must see it as His house. I am trying to do this. Slowly He is changing me, helping me to be peaceful! It’s only possible with His Grace.

In 1982 we went to India for Navaratri and during that period Sri Swamiji took us to see this Jain statue. We were going in two cars and on the way Sri Swamiji stopped and told our driver to sit on the other side and He would drive. He drove fast, very fast, for a little while on very rough roads, while we were clutching our seats. I said “Swamiji, You are going too fast” but He was laughing, having a good time and saying “Don’t worry, I am here, I am driving.” When I look back at that, I realize that was very significant because He is the driver of our life; He is our charioteer. We are not driving and even in the rough times He is in control, so we don’t have to worry about anything.  I feel now that I am living to serve Sri Appaji.

He saved me from a terrible accident in 1991 and gave me a “new life”. He Himself told me so.  Since then I realize I belong to Him and I love it, so I try to attach myself more to Him than to family now.  In fact my whole family belongs to Him. He has rescued each one of us from life-threatening situations many times! Before I had my accident, I had dreamt that I was going to be in one and Sri Swamiji told me in my dream, “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.”  So said, so done! I recovered in about three months from what should have taken three years….

When our second son, Srichitta was just a couple of months old, he was stiffening and turning blue.  It would happen suddenly when he was drinking his milk, and this was very scary.  We ’phoned Sri Swamiji who was in Malaysia at the time and He said, “Nothing is wrong with Him.  Don’t worry.” When it happened a couple of times again, we ’phoned Him again, and He said, “Nothing to worry.  But if you wish, take him to the best doctor.”  We were reluctant to do so, but friends who also witnessed it, non-devotees, who were also scared, persuaded us to do this.  Doctors did every test they could, but after four days in the hospital, could find nothing wrong.  I was tired and stressed from sleeping in a chair in the hospital and said, “Swamiji is the best doctor. I’m taking him home.”  After about three weeks, gradually it stopped.  The next year in Switzerland, Sri Swamiji told Mukunda, “I had to fight with the planets for him.”  We did not understand what this meant then, but I feel now in my heart that He is the master of the planets also.

I realize that He puts us in situations sometimes even when we are performing seva, just to help us work out some karma, in a short time and under His umbrella of protection.  Babaji had told us that Sadguru is like a catalyst, He speeds up the karma of His devotees, but gives them strength to bear or overcome it, often in unusual or unexpected ways, and I see this all the time in my daily life.  “Expect the unexpected.”  Sometimes it is not easy to do seva, but still I would not have it any other way. Sri Swamiji knows best, and by shifting me from one seva to the next, He makes sure I don’t get attached to seva also. Sometimes I may have something to learn from the seva.  For me serving Him is itself sadhana and ananda, divine bliss!

In 1991, when we returned from India, my husband started to renovate his mother’s house with the intention of going to live with and look after her.  After about six months Mukunda, our three children and I we moved there, although he still had some work to do on the property.  He made one major mistake.  He did not consult Sri Swamiji before moving.  He thought it was the right thing to do, since his mother was old, lived alone, and more and more needed help, and we lived quite far away.  However, in hindsight, we need to consult Sri Swamiji for major decisions!

For about five years we lived quite peacefully and happily there. His brother and sisters were happy that we were taking care of his mother, as they were not able to do so, for one reason or another. The property by then was legally ours. Then he made another mistake. He renovated another piece of the property next door and started to rent it. Earlier, Sri Appaji had told Mukunda to go slowly, but he had ignored or forgotten His advice.

All of a sudden his family, including his mother, turned on us.  The situation was tense and my family and I could not live in peace.  They did not want us there. The children were confused, hurt, and so were we!  We tried talking to all of Mukunda’s family to try to live in peace, but to no avail.  The situation worsened, and each day we would dread coming home, not knowing what we would find waiting for us.  They were becoming openly aggressive and threatening towards us!  Mukunda’s relatives did not want to see reason though he tried again and again to please them.  How can you fight your own mother?  I had never known such ‘family’ turmoil and conflict, and was constantly praying to Sri Swamiji for help!  The stress took its toll on my health, and I was always tired and nervous!

One day, when they started to threaten our safety, desperate for a solution, we telephoned Sri Appaji who said firmly, “Have no fear.”  Then He instructed us and we followed His instructions. Instead of the situation calming down, it got worse through no fault of our own. During His next visit, He made a special visit to our home and told my mother-in-law, “I will give you what you want.”  He told us that He had been thinking of us ever since we had ’phoned Him, and simply had to make this house visit!  When He was advised to turn back, He refused saying “My devotees are waiting for me!”  He advised us to move out from there and rent until we could buy a piece of land and build near to the Temple.  He said, “If the Guru tells you to cut your throat you should do it, no second thought.  If He says to go to hell, you should happily go.”

So we followed His instructions and rented for about three years, then came to live nearby the Temple—in peace!  It was not easy, since my husband had to work hard and the children hardly got to see him.  Mukunda was exhausted, and we were all emotionally drained, but he never stopped his Guru seva.  Together we worked on producing a Souvenir for the consecration of Sri Karya Siddhi Hanuman in 2003. By Guru’s Grace we also helped in the compilation of “The Caribbean Story”.

Sri Swamiji told us that this karma was finishing and that this was a lesson in vairagya for us. We had lost a house and family, but we had Guru’s Grace; that is the most important thing! Later, He also said that in the Ramayana, Sri Rama followed the wishes of Kaikeyi and of his father Dasharatha implicitly, humbly and happily, holding no ill will for them, or for Bharath.  We sacrificed and did what Sri Appaji told us to do, though it was very difficult.  Now we had to go, start over, with three young children to educate, on meager salaries, at the time.

This was an eye-opening experience for us. Word spread amongst the devotees that we were experiencing problems with family, especially his mother, and we were shunned.  We realized that Kaliyuga was indeed the age of quarrels and conflict, but since Sri Appaji wanted us, in particular our three children to live in peace, He took the bad karma and turned it into something good for us! By following His instructions, we felt that He was our true family and friend!

During that time, my health suffered and Mukunda and the children were emotionally scarred. A lot of the time I felt isolated and hid my feelings!  However, Guru is great!  Many times my husband and I despaired, wondering how we would get through financially and even emotionally and if we would recover, but always He looked after us and a solution always came at the right time.  He gives you the strength and care just when you need it most.  I learnt that He is our only true friend, a divine one who provides timely help in the most trying of situations. Such a divine Avadhoota never turned His back on us, His children!  We cannot forget that!

Whether I get Moksha or not, it does not matter, I just want to serve Him every time He incarnates! To me He is all the gods; I gain love, happiness, bliss, affection, compassion, protection, strength, peace and everything from Him! Still, I think I have to make a greater effort to show my devotion to Him. He guides me through a timely saying on Puttu Gam, or through an inspiring photo, through His bhajans or music, or a kind word from a friend.  But to me the best way is to simply remember Him, in silence. He is the One Constant Divine Energy in my life full of changes, in difficulties, or in joy.  Can I explain my experience with Him?  Impossible….It is very reassuring to know that God is real, and He is there for us, as our Appaji, Sri Swamiji!    Jaya Guru Datta 

Sri Swamiji Says:

“People, by large, have a tendency to divide:  things, events and experiences of life, into two categories; namely good and bad, favourable and unfavourable…and then make a choice between them.  A seeker / devotee should remember that all events and all experiences are caused by the Supreme Power.  He should accept everything as God-sent.”