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Sep 07 2012

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Change yourself before trying to change others ~ 7 Sep 2012

Nandana SGS MMS 100

Permanent link to this article: http://puttugam.com/change-yourself-before-trying-to-change-others-7-sep-2012/

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  1. Puttu Gam

    This 100th MMS is so direct, so candid! The background bhajan ‘Alaya nilaye’ is so melodious. As we soak into that melody, we see Appaji talking to us straight in the face – “Change yourself before trying to change others”. No smiles here, please.. this is serious. For, to realize the import of, and follow this 100th MMS means, the other 99 have achieved their purpose! 99 Ways of changing ourselves before we try to change others have been taught in this forum so far.. So much water carried to the horse. Is the horse drinking ?

    Watch the diverse feelings in the mind as we move from invoking Harapriya ( The one who is loved by Shiva ) to invoking Kalikamba ( Again the consort of Shiva – Kali – she personifies time and change). Watch that subtle shift from nourishing to punishing styles of these two divine personas. Harapriya makes you feel comfortable; Kalikamba shakes you out of that comfort zone. The Mother transforms herself to transform her children. She has different strokes for different folks. She will try as much to make the horse drink..

    Ever observed how much a lady changes as soon as she attains motherhood? Have you noticed how her food habits, her lifestyle, her sleeping times, her hobbies, her career priorities.. all change for the sake of her little one ? The mother keeps reinventing herself to help her children reinvent themselves, as they grow. She sings, plays, dances, story-tells, teaches, does the homework, gets on skype and facebook, climbs on elevators, giant wheels.. does many things she would have felt shy or afraid to do before. Her only objective is to nurture the child towards fulfillment of his life’s purpose. That is why we put the Mother ahead of Father, Guru and God.. in that order. The question is, are we learning from our mothers? Just yesterday we discussed how our Divine Mother – Our Gurudeva – transforms himself, so that he can transform us. He is once always walking the talk. We see so much, we hear so much.. Why then are many of us still struggling with this transformation process?

    We have gone through a 100 MMS messages now.. Each one of them is priceless, eternal, mind nourishing nectar drawn from the sacred texts, and are culture neutral. They are given to us by the divine will of our Master. We can never buy these experiences with all our wealth! And deep in our bosom many of us are sure of how much we’re benefiting from this initiative. For those who are doubtful or hesitant, here is a candid view to seriously consider.. {Stop going through hundreds of these MMSs. Please allow any one MMS to go through you. Try it once. And then feel that experience fire up your transformation process.} You may want to re-read those words in parenthesis. Start now! Start before Kali shakes you out of your comfort zone ! Remember what Gurudeva said in MMS 10 / 43717229 – Time is a treasure. Only fools lose it or waste it. Now, go back to MMS 78 / 46428404 – A man’s world is a projection of his mind. If we have understood that, we know that the smartest way to change the world is to change our mind !

    Please keep the nectar flowing, Sathguru. We will be the beginning of the change we want to see in others. It may take us two years of practice to benefit from one two-minute MMS. But, we are willing.. because, in that experience we will find our sense of fulfillment. Through our transformation, we will do you proud.

    Jaya Guru Datta. Your Puttuji.

  2. Mukund Mohan

    Svasramam ca savjatim ca svakirtim pustivardhanam
    Etatsarvam parityajya Gurumeva samasrayet !!

    Humble prostrations to the lotus feet of Our Divine Mother Parama Pujya Sri Sri Sri Swamiji !!

    Happy 100th day of SGS MMS !!

  3. dariashakti

    Jaya Guru Datta, Swamiji! What a powerful and timely message! Yesterday, I went with a friend who has been dealing with an alcoholic husband for several years to an Alanon meeting–a place where family and friends of alcoholics can go for support. She decided that she needed to let go of the idea of changing him/enabling him and to begin to claim her own life and make the changes that she needed to support herself and heal herself. I went with her as a friend because this was a scary first step for her, and happily found a room full of loving people who were just in this place–learning that the only thing they could do was change themselves–not others! Even among devotees, I have encountered those who are dealing with similar problems. Some are the adult children of alcoholics or the grandchildren of alcoholics who have innocently been raised in these negative situations and become codependent and enabling of others and in the process have lost their own self-worth, integrity and independence and are raising their children in the same circumstances. It is heartbreaking to see, and difficult to be powerless to change, but as Sri Swamiji has pointed out, we can only change ourselves and pray for the highest good for others.

  4. Nandini Prakasarao Velagapudi

    Beautiful message and advice. It will solve many problems we have with others.

  5. Indumati

    Jai Guru Datta
    This a big challenge but the only way to break the circle of repeatments. Will give my very best to remind me all the time.
    OM NAMO HANUMATE NAMAHA

  6. vinayak07

    jgd Appaji…we live inna world which is very impure….and for us to change it…we must first make ourselves pure….thank you for this lovely message sgd!

  7. Savitri

    Sometimes I am angry about some person. Then I would like to change this person or the situation. But after a short time, when I got a little bit more quite, I begin to think about the situation. I know in my head, that every situation in my life I create myself. When the situation is bad, I must ask me, why. What in me must learn something? Then I begin to analyse the situation and try to change in me. When I do that, the anger goes away very quickli. This I know after a lot of experiences and that’s why, I try always to look in me, Then I try to change. That’s the way how I can go forewards step by step.

  8. radhakrishnarao

    we forget the draw backs in ourselves and always try to change others; by the grace of sri appaji, we would change ourselves

  9. Jaya Guru Hanuman,

    What a beautiful journey so far. 100 MMS’es which are the essence of vedas and upanishads delivered by Pujya Sri Swamiji in the most simplest format for any generation and more to come. We do not even have to learn Vedas and Upanishads which are so complex. Our Sadguru has made it very easy to learn them. It is said God comes in the form of Mahatmas to deliver the necessary teachings suitable for that time. Sri Swamiji is giving us the nectar that is necesary for this kali yuga in the format most suitable for us and future generations.

    All of these MMS’es are interconnected like a beautiful flower garland. The garland can be made into different boquets. If one MMS tells what to correct? the other MMS’es tell how to correct? You can make many beautiful boquets from the one garland. If we can put one MMS in pracice all the other ones will automatically enlighten (prachodayat) within us.

    How can we show our gratitude to our beloved master? Only by putting these MMS’es in practice. Let us become the centerpiece of a beautiful boquet with all of these MMS’es surrounding us as beautiful flowers and offer ourselves to the lotus feet of Sri Swamiji.

    Humble prostrations to the lotus feet of Sri Swamiji who is Sat-Chit-Ananda.

    Om namo hanumate namaha

  10. lalithabalaji

    jai gurudeva datta appaji meeru cheppinaee amruthathulya mina mms manava manugadaki sopaanum deeni audharumga chesukoni maajanm sardhakatha chesukuntaamu maaku mee mmslu aundinche puttujiki jai gurudatta om namo hanumathe namah sri ram jaya rama jaya jaya rama

  11. prakash bhadra

    sri guru deva datta appaji mee krupavalla maaku nandana mmslu chuse bhagyum dorikindi puttuji valla maa manasuloni mata cheppe auvakasamu labhinchindi sachchidanadasadgurudevula padhapadmaalki koti pranamalu jaigurdatta puttuji

  12. sridevi

    Jai Guru Datta! I was very much touched when I came to Bombay airport and saw in big big letters: “YOU MUST BECOME THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE!” Our Sadgurudeva is working everywhere! No opportunity is left out to care for His children. Thank you so much Appaji.

  13. BSVS Kameswara Rao

    Jaya Guru Datta Appaji, Sri Ganapathy Sachchidananda Sadgurubhyo Namah, Om Namo Hanumathe Namah

    An apt MMS for me, I Pray Pujya Sadgurudeva to enable me imbibe this quality

    Sri Guru Datta

  14. venkateswarudu bhadra

    jai gurudeva datta appaji meeru ramakrishna paramahumsa auvatharumlo unnapudu meevadhaku oka thalli vachchi thana pilavadki bellum thinavadhu auni cheppamani cheppindi auppudu meeru sare reputhisukura chepputhanu aunnariu aume nextday vachchindi malli repura aunnaru eevidhamuga oka vaarum gadipnatharuvatha aupillavadini daggaraku thisukoni nayana bellum thinuta munchidikadu aunicheppariu daniki au thalli eemata munde yunduku cheppaledu uni audigindi daniki meeru nenu bellum thindum manadaniki intha samayamu pattindi annaru dinini bhatti auchrinchinvare etharulaki cheppe aurhathnu pondiuntaru uni theliyacheppinaru jayagurudatta om namo hanumathe namah sri ram jaya rama jaya jaya rama

  15. Kannan

    Wonderful statement, for All generation

  16. mitradeva

    JGD There is great wisdom in Sri Swamiji’s words. Knowing about everyone’s right to chose their path of life, how could I try to change others? Then, even when I feel another one should change, how can I know this feeling is not caused by my own ego? So would I not better analyse that feeling and change myself? And again, as we all know experience is our true teacher, when we want others to change, would it not be best to change ourselves first, to be a good example for others to chose the right path, too?
    In the video we can see this beautiful tree, growing from the earth and returning to the earth, as if it had turned back to where it came from. Is not this the most wonderful example of self-reflection and a perfect example for us to follow the vedic path?
    Thank YOU a thousand and eight times, Datta Guru, for this great and powerful message.SGD

  17. Vanaja

    Jaya Guru Datta,
    changing others? Did this ever work? No! Why not?
    Did others making me change ever? No! Why not?
    Because we all can only work on changing ourself. Dear Kalimata, I pray for awareness. So this way, I will be able to have the focus on myself and find out how I can change myself.
    Marriage is a good and wide field to practice……
    Thank you Puttuji for remembering. Pranams to Swamiji.

  18. dr.satyanarayana and uma devi.

    Jgd. The writing is on the wall,Appaji is cautioning us not be intolerant of others actions.His Holiness addresses all, that a change firsrt should take place in us.

  19. rose sheppard webster

    i need to get this tattooed on my wrist right beside my watch. Jai Guru Datta!

  20. Madhu Talwar

    jgd thank You Swami ji, Your thoughtful picture shows Your concern how much You want me to obey You, by an effort to change my self i will be so much involved with me, where will be the need or time to change others, it will be peace, peace, peace and peace only.Puttu gam ji pranaams onhn sgd.

  21. Sahana Rosemary Nulty

    Jaya Guru Datta! We should be the change we want to see others. This is one of those universal teachings that pops up again and again. Without spelling it out, it also addresses our tendencies to criticize, judge, blame or be lazy…all games of the ego. It is easier to criticize than to work on one’s own shortcomings. But just as Appaji’s Bonzai trees adapt to His weeding out, we too can adjust our egoistic patterns and trust His artful hand in the process. By surrendering to the Guru, we will be changed in the most positive way.

    Swamiji never asks us to do what He, Himself, has not done! He doesn’t demand that someone change, but rather, He teaches through His actions, His example. When I catch myself trying to change someone else, I have to ask myself “what attachment do I have to the outcome?” If I dig deep enough, I usually find the answer. Here in the USA, we are in the midst of an election year. There are so many people trying to change the opinions of others. This is an excellent message to keep at hand! A very timely reminder. Sri Guru Datta!

  22. annessa

    This saying is quite true. We must look at ourselves and strive to be on the right path.
    Jaya Guru Datta

  23. pushpa

    I think this is the most difficult for oneself. One always sees the straw in the eye of the other, but not the big tree in our own eye, helas. !! Prostrations to my Gurudeva.

  24. Jaya Guru Datta!
    Happy 100 MMSs! Thank You so much Sri Swamiji for Your teaching!
    Every MMS is a unique experience. Many come just in the right time to tell something very special connected to an actual experience. All have wonderful music and images which let us feel the hidden secrets behind the message.
    They will certainly change us.
    Koti Pranams to the Dvine Lotusfeet of Sadgurudeva!
    Sri Guru Datta
    Om Namo Hanumate Namah

  25. Neelam Bhambri Nayyar, USA

    Jai Guru Datta, We are blessed to be receiving these daily messages. This 100th message sums up all the messages that follow the teachings being given everyday and change yourself. I am trying to stop myself every time I stray away from these teachings. I admit it is not easy but with your blessings and the desire in the heart, I will reach the goal.
    Sri Guru Datta

  26. Mukund Mohan

    Jai Guru Datta !!

    Our Divine Mother Sadgurudeva corrects us in so many ways, sometimes through direct loving glances and sometimes through direct censure. This 100th MMS is in so many ways a summation of earlier MMSs. When Gurudeva is omnipresent and the world around is a reflection of the world within us, where is the scope for nit-picking what is outside when the inside is purified?

    Each seemingly tid-bit of wisdom that Pujya Swamiji showers on us, which dear Puttiji explicates so beautifully, takes us further in the righteous path. Indeed if we were to think, reflect and meditate deeply upon one MMS we can see the correlation to the other MMSs.

    Appaji, thank you for simplifying many many many PhDs worth of material in simple language for us. Indeed we feel so full of knowledge when you feed us. Please give us the wisdom, strength, and capacity to absorb the materials, retain them, and most importantly make them second nature in our practice.

    As Puttuji said we will be the beginning of the change we want to see in others. SGS MMS has blessed a lot of good qualities on me. I will strive very hard, practice and transform to your expectations Appaji, kindly bless that I succeed !!

    Om aim hrim srim harapriyayai namaha!! Om kalikambayai namaha !!
    Sri Guru Datta Hauman Ki Jai !! Om Namo Hanumathe Namaha!!

  27. Phani Prasanthi

    Jai Guru Datta. Sri Gurubyo Namaha. First of all we thank Nandana MMS Team for their wonderful contribution to carry out 100 MMS. Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.How can I lead others if I can’t lead myself? How can others trust me, or I trust others, if I first can’t trust myself? All these require change within to achieve. Changing our self or realizing our self is very difficult task but our Sadguru shown us the path to change our self. Thanks a lot swamiji for this MMS. Millions of Pranams to the Lotus feet of Pujya Sri Swamiji.

  28. Jai guru datta

    Please bless us as we will change ourself before changing others.
    This is a best mms and great Upadesam to change our life

    Sri guru datta

  29. Jaya guru datta
    We are blessed and happy to recive the 100th
    Nandan mms
    Om kalikadevya namaha
    Sri guru datta

  30. Madhavi katta

    జయ గురు దత్త ,
    Happy 100th day Of Nandana SGS MMS .
    ఎంతో అమూల్యమైన సందేశాలను మంచి మ్యూజిక్ తో,చక్కని వీడియోస్ తో, పుట్టుజీ వివరణలతో మా మనస్సుకు హద్డుకోనేలా అందిస్తున్నారు. చిన్నపదాలతో సత్యాన్ని, ధర్మాన్ని భోధిస్తూ, వాటిని ఆచరించటానికి సులభమైన మార్గాన్ని చూపుతున్నారు. ఎదుట వారిలో మార్పు కోరే ముందు, మార్పు మాలో రావాలని చెప్పారు. ఇది ఎంతో నిజం. ఈ MMS లు మాకు రోజు ప్రతి సందర్భములోను, ప్రతి పనిలోను చేసేది తప్పా-ఒప్పా, ఎలా చెయ్యాలి, ఎలా చేస్తే బాగుంటది అని ఆలోచింప చేస్తున్నాయి.మేము సత్యాన్ని ఎల్లవేళలా ఆచరిస్తూ, జీవితంలో ముందుకు నడుస్తూ, విజయం సాధించేలా అనుగ్రహించండి గురుదేవ. సద్గురు పాదపద్మములకు అనంత కోటి వందనములు.
    ఓం సద్గురుభ్యో నమః .
    ఓం నమో నారాయణాయ.

  31. G.Lalitha

    JGD Appaji – We being a devotee & volunter of Appaji we already transformed ourselves. This is a reminder for us if we forgot the same – Thanks Appaji for being with us – SGD

  32. Sarumati

    JGD
    “hidden secrets, boquets of flowers, a unique experience …” THANK YOU for all these nice comments again ! HAPPY 100 MMS THANK YOU !
    I think, each of Sri Swamiji`s sayings can fill a lifetime to put into practice, so we better start now!
    What I exactly like, is the multi – focuss on my mind, heart and soul. These videos remind me of
    so many things, that I forgot or did not put into practice., a real refresher course in uplifting and transformation !
    I think when the change has taken place in us , hopefully, we will start to spread the new
    fragrance like a flower`s scent. It comes automatically and does not need the help of
    “I know better … I want to teach you … you are wrong …” So many bad habits vanish at once.
    99 is the magic number … jai Guru Datta !

  33. Shehnaz Thanawala

    Jai Guru Datta. I feel Blessed to receive the 100th and such a meaningful MMS from APPAJI today which also happens to be my Bday.
    Thank You APPAJI, thank You Puttuji
    Koti koti Pranaams

  34. jaya

    jaya guru datta swamiji.

  35. పద్మ మాదల

    జయ గురుదత్త, శ్రీ గురుదత్త, ఓం నమో హనుమతే నమః
    తండ్రీ ప్రతి సందేశంతోను మా జీవితశైలిని మారుస్తూ, ఆధ్యాత్మిక జీవితంలోకి మమ్ము నడిపిస్తూ, నేటి శతసందేశం ఇంతవరకు అందుకున్న సందేశాలతో మనజీవితం ఇంతకుముందు ఎలావున్నది, ఇప్పుడెలా ఉన్నదంటూ మాకుమేమే ప్రశ్నిచుకునేలా చేసింది. మనం మారకుండా ఎదుటివాళ్ళలో మార్పు రావాలనుకోవటం, ఒకవేలితో ఎదుటివారిని చూపిస్తె మూడువేళ్ళు తిరిగి మనల్ని చూపిస్తాయి అన్న నానుడిని గుర్తుకు తెస్తుంది. తండ్రీ మమ్మల్ని మేము మార్చుకొని సత్ప్రవర్తనతో సన్మార్గములో నడిచేశక్తిని మాకు ప్రసాదించమని వేడుకొంటు శ్రీ గురుదేవుల చరణములకు అనంతకోటి ప్రణామములు.
    ఓం శ్రీ సద్గురుభ్యో నమః

  36. Bang On!! One milestone has been reached. This MMS for me is a checkpost, asking me to hold on, intrsopect and analyse how much I have changed as a result of the past 99 MMSs. Did I follow all those 99 MMSs? Did I change myself even an iota before I step up to change others? As I read the comments that are posted here, each of us have a story to narrate, an experience to reveal, sometimes in an unabashed manner. I feel all of us are so blessed because all of us have learnt so many different lessons from our Sadguru. We have changed our ways, our talks, our lifestyle, our habits, may not be to HIS expecatations, but definitely to a large extent, an extent to which we see a palpable change within ourselves.
    Reminds me “Do unto others as you would have them do to you”.
    Thanks Appaji for the Grand Century MMS. Definitely analyzing myself and constantly striving to change mysef.
    Puttuji, your explanation about motherhood is very nice. Thanks for your interpretation. JGD!!

  37. Joseph

    True, ‘To err is human being’. All of us have flaws and it is better to realize, accept and correct them, instead of correcting others. Wonderful message to be followed. Thank You Puttuji for sharing this video.

  38. Maurice Clarke

    JGD. One Hundred not out! Hooray for the Master of the game, our Beloved Sudgurudeva! May I not be just a spectator but practise all the strokes Sri Swamiji has taught to perfection, in this innings and the rest to come. JGD.

  39. Helga Geisert,

    JGD, danke für diesen wunderbaren Rat. Er trifft genau mein Problem. JGD

  40. Jaya Guru Datta

    Very appropriate MMS message. Thank you Appaji for this beautiful 100th GEM. We will take one MMS and implement that in our daily life.

    Sri Guru Datta

  41. Shri Valerie

    Jaya Guru Datta. By my occupation as a healer I have learned an amount. I think steady in the fact that God sends me my patients, so that I have to learn something. With every person who comes to me, he puts me on a task which it is a matter to solve. So how I see it, this task has to do always to help this person to change his perspective, the he is to be able to see the hand of God in his life. However, first I must do this. Over and over again well look and have faith and with myself begin to be able to help. If I may see then the change in the life of this person, it is like to see a flower growing. I am happy and grateful.

  42. tunga

    JGD
    I find it most fascinating that in fact we can change ourselves. although (especially) higher mammals show amazing capacities in learning, human are the only beings with a brain and nervous system that develops considerably in function of its use. this makes young human beings very sensitive to unfavourable conditions, but on the other hand it opens so much possibility to willingly and consciously change ourselves. modern neuroscience has brought about fascinating insights in the plasticity of the human brain, and in my view that imposes on us the responsibility of the best use of this fantastic . it is not so easy to change deep and conditioning and it requires repetition, practise and perseverance – and of course, ultimately, the grace of sadguru. swamiji I thank You for Your guidance and teaching, Your loving care, for Your support like depicted in the images of the mms, Your permanent presence in the process, Your powerful patience and Your unlimited inspiration.
    OM KALIKAMBAYA NAMAHA

  43. Venkata Rama Krishna

    Jaya guru datta appaji.. I will definitely change with the MMS going through me.. I will keep reviewing them until I change and every MMS is imprinted in my mind.. Sri guru datta

  44. Vindar Badall

    Jai Guru Datta
    Great to have our Swamiji. Please bless us to change ourselves to improve always. Jai Guru Datta

  45. 100 MMS messages. !00 ways that Pujya Appaji has inspired us to change ourselves! Yes Appaji, we are changing! Shame on us if we don’t, even after Pujya Appaji has taken so much time and effort to teach us the Truth in so many different ways. As “the other” is simply a projection of what is “in here”, we shall change ourselves, then everything will be alright. Pranams to Lotus Feet. Om Namo Hanumate Namaha.

  46. Radha from

    JAYA GURU DATTA! Please, beloved Appaji, help me for more and more self-knowledge for my
    personal transformation! Many many thanks and my humble prostrations to Your holy lotusfeet. S.G.D.!

  47. Many years ago I thought I would change the world. How confused I was. There was so much within my own life that needed correcting. It took some time and effort, along with some painful lessons before I saw that the only change needed was within me. Once that process began, my world of “others” began to reflect that and little needed to be done but within. I love this song on Mother Goddess that tells us She is the source of Bliss and infusing that within brings Ananda everywhere.
    Jai Sri Mata

  48. Nada

    Thank you very much for the crisp and clear words! This is one of the most difficult paths and hence has been tread only by a few great people. All of us are very good at giving advices or finding fault with others’ actions. But when it comes to us, we cannot tolerate a single word said, not just against us but even if given as constructive advice. So huge is human ego that a mild hint of being corrected makes us defensive and we lose our cool and our mind goes berserk. We are so happy and comfortable with the way we are that a mere proposal of change upsets us.
    The incident of the small boy and Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa is a perfect example that can be cited in this instance.
    During those days, the mother of a naughty young boy once brought him to Paramahamsa with the complaint that the boy was consuming sugar candy in excessive quantities. She requested him to teach the child not to do so. The Swamy asked her to bring the boy to the ashram a week later. This time he told the lad not to eat sweets. The woman was surprised and asked as to why he did not advise the same when they came a week ago. Then Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa revealed the truth that he too was in fact extremely fond of sugar candy and considered it inappropriate to teach the child to stop eating candy when he himself was fond if it. So during the week, the Swamy was practising self-control and finally when he achieved it, he was ready to preach it to the world! No wonder he is a great soul!
    Another great soul who, performed intense self-introspection and myriad experiments with truth brought about a phenomenal change by awakening the colonial Indian subcontinent and leading it into independence won with truth and non-violence, thus becoming the world’s largest democracy. The father of our nation, Mahatma Gandhi, has said and led in a very inspirational manner-“Be the change you want to see in the world”
    Quoting Darwin’s words in his book Origin of species “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.” It is said, “the only thing that is constant in this world is change”. So one must always be ready for a change and what is better than to ourselves induce the change that too in a constructive manner?
    Jaya Guru Datta!

  49. svetha

    Wie einfach das tönt und wie schwierig das ist. Wir Menschen suchen doch immer im Aussen den Fehler. SRI SWAMIJI gab uns am 2.9. die Lehre, die inneren Feinde zu erkennen und nun sind wir aufgefordert, uns zu verändern.
    Danke APPAJI, ich nehme es mir sehr zu Herzen.

  50. Pavani Kamalapuram

    JGD Appaji
    The problem with us is we keep trying to change everything around us except us.. we never have the courage to face our faults..we keep blaming others. Change starts at home. Unless we better, improve and change ourselves, nothing in our life will improve or change. Once we start cleaning up our minds and start listening to Appaji’s music, He like Goddess Kali with help us destroy our inner enemies!

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